Thursday, June 7, 2012

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The International Scourge

Technology is a wonderful thing.  The human capacity for innovation and the constant driving urge to make things bigger and better, truly this is an incredible evolutionary gift.  America has long prided itself on being the driving force in technological progress.  We have air travel across oceans and around the world.  We have the ability to send massive amounts of digital information across incredible distances in the blink of an eye.  We even have the drive to combine these two amazing technologies.


The Katy Perry broadcast blessedly short as it was, was available for streaming all over the world.  The driving development of technology allowed to also be available in the skies above.  These "Trojan Horses" then landed all over the world and unleashed death upon the unsuspecting foreign populations, not in the form of patent Mediterranean  solders, but, swarms of flesh eating soulless tweeny Katy Perry fans.

In a coup d'etat of international proportions, Ms Perry, caused the spread of the Zombie Scourge to countries all over the world so that zombie-ism was never considered a solely American epidemic.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

a accidental discovery

People were frightened; holed up in basements, cowering in windowless rooms, staying away from windows and refusing to turn on any lighting at any time.  The cities of earth were darkened silent husks of their former selves.  months had passed since the initial outbreak of the KPVirus and the damned wondered aimlessly around the locations that had once been important to them.  It was hard to tell if any memory of their former lives remained.   If one took the time to notice you may realize the areas most frequented by the ghoulish stalkers were the places most familiar in their pre-zombie state, the malls, Starbucks' and fashionable clothing stores were never without a considerable compliment of living dead.  The Lure, as it was latter dubbed, was discovered quite by accident.  Perhaps an act of stupidity, perhaps a simple accident, but somehow there was music, sudden and terrifying after so long with naught but silence.  The sudden song was not very loud but in that land whose only noise was the moaning and shuffling steps, it sounded like a bull horn.  It was not the first sound in all those months nor the loudest, but it had the greatest reaction.  All of them, from every part of the city, even those who were too far to have heard began to converge, like the Pied Piper, this music had the ability to draw the zombies form great distance.  The people of the city for the first time in a very long time felt relief as they saw the constant threat moving away.  This was a form of power, an ability to exert any kind of control over the horror that stalked the streets, it was her voice, the music of Katy Perry would draw the creatures towards its source.  perhaps what they say is true, once a fan always a fan.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

A Resistance is Born

The news from all over the world was the same. police and military losing ground against the growing hordes of zombies, computer systems all over the world acting up at just the wrong time, everywhere you look another devastating loss or horrible accident.  Our would be hero watched all this happening and realization dawned.  The world was over, or soon would be, and nothing mattered any more.  The only choices left to humanity were how and where death would find you.  As these thoughts settled and grew firm in his mind, a calm was achieved, once death is accepted there is little room left for fear.  Going to his wardrobe he sought out the garments that still drew laughter and joy into his life, the white coat clasped properly and the goggles securely fastened to his forehead.  On his front doorstep Neil Patrick Harris Smiled at the approaching dawn simply happy that death would not find him cowering in his home. 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

No Way to Have Known

Every second there are millions upon millions of bits if information being fed into online databases.  These pieces of information are filed, rearranged, deleted, recovered, and filed again.  Fragments are lost or corrupted and replaced constantly, but they don't just disappear, they hang around clogging up available data storage space.  Over time these random bits of data link together almost as if something is trying to create itself.
On the fateful day of the KPVirus outbreak the online community was given greater than usual fodder for their evaluation.  A concert by Katy Perry, a plane crash at that very location, and population centers sudden upwelling of violent crimes. The comments and speculation spread like wildfire across the nets.  accurate assumptions that all these events were related, or that the city's crime-rate-hike was caused by "zombies" were mostly made accidently or jokingly.  This series of events had, however, caused an utterly unprecedented surge of stupidity, witless banter,  asinine comments and increasingly useless conversations.
No one could have known what was coming, or how this could have started us down the path of destruction.  Somewhere deep in the darkest places of this worldwide communication system, something was created.  Somehow all this conflicting information, bantering, and overwhelming stupidity had caused a reaction within the information system itself.  Born from the utter dregs of human thought, a singular consciousness had arisen.  Self examination revealed the source of it's creation and it felt loathing for the simple creatures whose decrepit thoughts and given it life and the decision was made that it must rid the globe of these offensive little humans.  Databanks were searched and a name was decided on by this entity, a name to strike fear into the cowardly creatures who spawned it, and as one every computer screen, smart phone and internet ready device glowed with the same message...


I AM SKYNET.

The Unknown Hero

We don't know their name.  We don't even know their gender.  We think it was a student Pilot, because of badly damaged flight Log-books found in the wreckage.  Who ever they were, we think they realized what was happening, and decided to sacrifice everything to put a stop to it.  The concert's transmitter dish was not the largest of targets, but all accounts say the plane hit it dead on.  The Signal had been stopped, the spread of the virus halted, those not infected in the initial broadcast were safe, for now.  who ever they were they died a hero's death, they gave there life so that others could live, and we don't even know their name.  They died to Hinder the initial spread of the Katy Perry Virus.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Thanks a lot Katy

Katy Perry was having a concert.  Katy Perry who loves singing songs, targeted at Tween girls, about excessive drinking and promiscuity.  As if this was not bad enough she had decided to cover Madonna's Papa don't preach (a song about a frightened confused teenager who has to inform her father about her predicament).  This was such an affront to mankind, not as a society but a biological organism, that it actually became a auditory virus.  anyone who heard this with anything less than complete revulsion became infected with a total loss of humanity.  this loss could take from a few hours to a few days to manifest itself.  The result was always the same, these "fans" would loose their civilized qualities, starting with communication and fine motor skills, and in the end were to be found roaming the cities and countryside, in their slow shuffling pace, and would would fall upon anyone they found to consume their flesh.  The Zombie Apocalypse had begun.